WASHINGTON—Finding himself unable to contain his jealousy toward his fellow lawmaker’s latest poll numbers, House Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly pulled aside Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) Friday to ask him what the secret is behind his 37 percent approval rating. “Hey, Joe, you’ve got to let me in on your secret—how do you manage to pull in such incredible favorability numbers? Seriously, it’s insane,” asked Ryan, cornering his fellow legislator in a Capitol building hallway and offering him increased federal funds for his district in exchange for some insight into the congressman’s enviable popularity among more than a third of voters. “I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you, having nearly two in five people approve of your performance. God, that has to feel incredible. If you could just give me a couple of tips on how to make a positive or neutral impression on that many people, I’m sure I can take it from there. Please, Joe, help me out.” At press time, a dejected Ryan was reportedly calling his closest corporate donors for some positive reinforcement regarding the job he was doing.
-
Willie Nelson walks off stage before NC show starts, blames illness
Audience footage shows singer Willie Nelson walking onto the stage, putting his guitar on,… -
Why a historic site next to the Poolbeg Towers could become Dublin’s newest cultural hub
There are a number of listed buildings on the site. A SITE IN Poolbeg is being earmarked t… -
‘Active Shooter’ video game draws backlash from parents
A video game allowing players to play as an “active shooter” is drawing backla…
Load More Related Articles
-
Aides Concerned Trump’s Mental Health Declining After President Admits He May Not Be Omnipotent Living God
WASHINGTON—Alarmed by the sudden change in his thinking and behavior, White House aides sa… -
Trump Administration Sends 30 Million Nothing To Puerto Rico Victims
WASHINGTON—In an effort to assist victims still struggling from the devastating effects of… -
Exhausted Trump Supporter Just Decides Massive Cuts To Healthcare Subsidies Reason He Voted For Him
BEAVER DAM, WI—In an effort to justify the recent set of executive orders the president si…
Load More By Karen Livingston
-
Aides Concerned Trump’s Mental Health Declining After President Admits He May Not Be Omnipotent Living God
WASHINGTON—Alarmed by the sudden change in his thinking and behavior, White House aides sa… -
Trump Administration Sends 30 Million Nothing To Puerto Rico Victims
WASHINGTON—In an effort to assist victims still struggling from the devastating effects of… -
Exhausted Trump Supporter Just Decides Massive Cuts To Healthcare Subsidies Reason He Voted For Him
BEAVER DAM, WI—In an effort to justify the recent set of executive orders the president si…
Load More In Politics
Check Also
Aides Concerned Trump’s Mental Health Declining After President Admits He May Not Be Omnipotent Living God
WASHINGTON—Alarmed by the sudden change in his thinking and behavior, White House aides sa…