The lowdown: the popular comedian and radio personality drives a tough-as-nails dream car.
Career highlights: winning the Tron Best Newcomer award at the 2007 Edinburgh Fringe; winning the 2010 Spleen Comic of the Year award; winning the Piece of Wood Comic’s Choice Award at the 2011 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
Current project: co-hosting 2DayFm’s breakfast offering The Em Rusciano Radio show with Harley Breen (weekdays from 6am on 1041 2DayFM).
1998 – the year I bought my first car
5 – the number of cars I’ve owned
What was your first car?
A 1978 HZ Holden Kingswood two-toned station wagon – poo brown with a white roof. It also had a white driver’s side door that didn’t open and grey bog patches down the left-hand side. A man in a pub was giving it to the wreckers but generously said I could have it for a jug of beer. She had no muffler, and hills weren’t always possible. But I loved her. Her name was Margery. She died on the side of a Queensland highway.
How did you find the whole learning to drive experience?
Fine. I first got behind the wheel when I was 12 on my uncle’s farm in country Queensland. By the time I got to my licence test I was so good at driving they made me do it three times so that everyone got a chance to drive with me. In fact, I was so good that in between test two and three I just drove around on my own anyway.
What are you driving now?
I’m lucky enough to be driving one of my dream cars – a short wheelbase 1978 FJ40 Toyota LandCruiser. She’s a magnificent steed. Her name is Fiona.
2Day FM breakfast hosts Em Rusciano and Harley Breen Photo: Supplied
Ever had a bingle?
Not really. Recently though, a special brand of idiot has taken to running into the back of me. I’ve had two people drive into me in car parks in the last few months. Unfortunately for them, I drive a tank. Fiona is fine. Their cars less so.
What’s your pet road peeve?
People on phones. Seriously, put your phones down while driving, you narcissistic psychopaths. You’re operating a vehicle made of metal around people that are made of flesh. Put the phone in the glove box and focus.
When it comes to car washing, are we talking every weekend, or once-in-a-blue moon?
Keep it clean as you go and then make an event of it. I genuinely love getting all my coins together and going to the self-service car wash. And boy do I treat the FJ to a good undercarriage clean. I give her headlights a polish and I’ll even get the hot wax out to hide some of those unsightly ageing spots.
Have you done a lot of driving throughout your comedic career?
I’ve been a touring comic for 16-years so I’ve done a lot of long road trips. I’ve nearly driven around the entire country, sometimes on water or in the air in what I like to call sky cars. There’s been a bloody lot of driving and I’m a bit done with it. At this point in life I want a road trip to be for pure pleasure, with my dream team being my partner and two boys.